I am so very blessed.  Some days when cancer is in forefront of my mind.  Today I just feel blessed.  I worked hard this morning in my back yard.  I am tired from that work.  Digging in the soil and planting new flowers.  How can I not be blessed?  Now it is raining and watering these new plants.  Water from the heavens.  Yesterday, I had a reaction from my chemo med, Gleevec.  We were at my mother--in-law's for dinner.  I had taken the gleevec before we went.  I didn't realize untill I started to feel sick that I hadn't eaten any lunch, just a plum.  I had to  excuse myself to the bathroom to vomit.  One of those things I should know better.  I went home, took a zofran which helps with nausea and vomiting.  I was sleeping by 7:30.  Little side effects that I must endure.  A small sacrifice to being alive.  Being alive.  I am fine.  I am a survivor.
     I go on Wednesday for my 3 month blood draw.  Then next week I will have my Dr. appt. and get the results.  These few days are worrisome for me, but I am feeling good.  I have lost 23 lbs. so far, 32 more to go.  I feel healthy.  I am praying that all will be well.  God has been so good to me.  I have to sometimes  stop and remember this.  I can get caught up in my physical ailments and feel sorry for myself, or want the pain I have every day to just go away.  It can make me sad.  Too many back surgeries.  Too many surgeries.  I saw a woman at church yesterday.  She asked how I was doing and I told her I am great.  She said, "You sure have had it my dear."  I told her "We are resilient."  Her name is also Barbara and she has had physical limitations as well.  She agreed with me and we laughed and I told her we really didn't have a choice in the matter, so we must just keep on keeping on.
     I have a feeling of contentment that I haven't felt in such a long time that it almost scares me.  I am afraid something will go haywire with my health.  Or that this feeling will not last.  I guess it is because something has always gone  wrong.  I have not been in the hospital for over a year.  I feel that I have passed a milestone.   One of those mountains that I've reached the top of.  The only question now is, will I stay at the top, or will I fall down again.  God is with me.  He always has been there.  He has given me a certain hope for the future. I feel peace.  I wish you too this peace.